Things we’ve learned: Avoid the mall & These girls have range!

Things we’ve learned in the last week:
Avoid Sitting In The Mall
We just passed the one month mark and the girls are doing fantastic.  Check out the pictures to see Audrey and Sofia with us, with their Grandpa, and with Aunties Kim and Linda.  This past week we’ve also done quite a bit of getting out and about.  When the weather was lousy mid-week, we decided to do some indoor trekking at the mall.  We thought we’d avoid the weather and still get some exercise, so we packed up and headed to Northgate Mall.  Things started out well, we had lunch at the food court while the girls obligingly slept through it all.  Then we walked about a bit and finally decided to park and feed the girls.  We sat in a little oasis in the center of the mall, smack between a trendy clothing store and a shop selling all manner of smelly lotions, soaps and candles.
We whipped out the girls’ bottles and settled ourselves into the faux leather cushions to feed them.  Being twins, they attract a lot of attention.  When you’re moving, you get lots of comments and friendly smiles, but when you SIT you become dangerously becalmed in the middle of a sea of swarming well-wishers- many of whom you really wish would just keep moving.  The way to avoid most of these people is to avoid eye contact at all costs.  Unfortunately, just as I whispered this reminder to Tony under my breath, he made accidental eye contact with exactly the type of people you want to avoid- mall regulars.  Suddenly, I hear, "Damn, don’t look up." and I unfortunately glance up briefly to see a doddering pair of women with questionable hygiene making their way towards us, clinging to each other for support.  They finally reach us with smiles and exclamations, only to station themselves on my left.  As they look down on me feeding Sofia, I notice that they are just the type of folks I really don’t want hovering over the babies when the unthinkable (or at least the really gross) happens- the nose of the lady standing closest to me releases a trembling drop of moisture that falls directly onto the blanket covering Sofia.  I blanch and look away in horror.  The woman realizes her gaffe and reaches up to her nose to stem the tide of droplets.  I try to glance up with a look of subtle hostility and they shuffle backwards and I sigh in relief- only to discover a moment later that they have only shuffled to the right and are now standing behind Tony! Aargh! I bite down on the words of relief I was going to say to Tony and stubbornly look only at Sofia and refuse to respond to their continued murmurings.  All I am thinking about is colds and viruses, and what terrible germs may have been contained in the drop of nose moisture that now has invisibly settled into lovely Sofia’s blanket.
Finally, those ladies leave and we both breathe sighs of relief.  Then a couple of old guys come and settle into the couch next to us.  Fortunately, they were quite nice and didn’t come hover over the babies.  One of the men had 3 year old twin grandchildren.  We chatted with them for a few moments, still feeling like we’ve got to wrap-up the feedings before we attract more people we don’t want to talk with.
Luckily, the girls ate quickly and we were able to beat a rapid retreat out of the mall.  I think I will stick with Greenlake- rain or shine.  At least I know what is contained in droplets of rain!
These Girls Have Range
The second thing we’ve learned is that in addition to good things coming in small packages- incredibly high velocity things can also be contained in small packages.  Also, incredibly smelly things.  Things like poop, spit-up, and toots.  These girls pack an amazing amount of punch into their small, developing intestinal tracks.  Thus far they have managed to projectile poop off the changing table- hitting the floor nearly 2 feet away, precision spit up directly down the front of my bathrobe, and toot with enough intensity to make the dog leave the room!  All this action before they were 4 weeks old- it only makes me shudder to think what they will be able to do once their muscles are developed enough for them to hold their heads up or control their arms.

About jenlocati

JENNIE LOCATI started her blog, WYS Words as a way to share her experiences as a professional woman, wife, mother, and irrepressible “do-gooder”. Her diverse life experiences have taken her to Kenya as a Peace Corps volunteer, the trading floors of Wall Street, to PATH, and most recently back to Microsoft, where she works in Executive Communications. Jennie shares her many misadventures, occasional insights, and unique perspectives in a voice that is self-deprecating, honest, and authentic. Read more at
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